Ginger and I went Ice skating last night at the Grand West Casino. The last time I was there with my clumsy butt was a year ago with my friend. Needless to say I did, in fact, end up on my clumsy butt… BUT… I still maintain that it was only because I needed a rest.
With the memory of my performance in “Public humiliation on Ice” still very much fresh in my mind I was hesitant to participate in a sequel with Ginger but I put my big girl panties on and decided to give it another try. I didn’t fall once but came close once or twice.
We had a really good time but we also made a couple of funny and interesting observations which I thought about writing down in the gorgeous and funny Anja van der Spuy’s burn book like sense of humor. I don’t think I’m able to do it as good as Anja but I’ll try as a “thank you” to her for the burn book giggles.
Ice skating for dummies:
- Moms, we know you think your 4 year old Bambi legs on skates is adorable, (and yes, we did have a good chuckle over a couple of these) maar my magtag man! Daar IS mos ‘n baby sized rink just outside where the little kids play. Don’t be irresponsible – It is dangerous for everyone!
- If you can skate backwards and do a triple spin with your leg out while holding your head perfectly still you are a professional figure skater. If you are a professional figure skater and you’re a girl – good for you, now stop your gasconading act – you haven’t made the Olympics honey – jy’s net hier inni Grand West OK? If you’re a professional figure skater and you’re a guy and you’re zooshing past lesser able skaters, it doesn’t turn the ladies on … not one bit. In fact, had my reflexes been sharper I’d have tripped you sodat ek kon sien hoe ‘n drol op ys lyk.
- You have never even rollerbladed before, Sweetheart, not to mention ice skating – how the heck did you get to the middle of the rink? Because judging by the way you move, it must have been some sort of witch craft!
- You there! The group of cackling teenagers just standing there in everyone’s way looking so emo cool! I paid R40 to get my feet into 3 pairs of socks and into the skates so that I can use the space you’re currently occupying having your tea party! Mug & Bean is net hier buite so move the tea party there please. (3 pairs of socks have died during this adventure – the smell was too horrible and we had to part ways)
- Woah! I didn’t know you get gangster skaters! Oh he does a back flip too! Must be a new and improved hybrid super human specie – in preparation of the second ice age perhaps? Survival of the Ice gangster.
Then there was Grown-ass Bambi on Ice. This was the highlight of our skating experience but I have to give the guy props for trying. He was an array of Michael Jackson Thriller-like moves with his repertoire of, what I’m assuming is, some sort of martial arts. We maintained a safe following distance for our viewing pleasure while unknowing innocent bystanders were nearly decapitated soos die man se arms en spinnekop-bene rond waai soos a suicide bomber on tik. You’d think he would have landed smack bang on his hiny but he made an entire lap without falling once. I think he won the bet!
All said and done and the rotten feet smell aside, it was a lot of fun and it gave me something to write about. Do yourself and your laughing muscles a favor and go ice skating.