“So when are YOU getting married?”

Game over

You’re in your late 20’s/early 30’s and not married yet – you’ve probably gotten the question “So, when are you getting married?” My latest answer to this question: “Hold on, lemme contact the spirits”.

To be honest, the entire idea of getting married is an expensive novelty amongst members of my age group. I’ve been watching “Top Bride – Facebook edition” – brides outdoing their friends’ weddings. It’s become more about who can get the most expensive dress or photographer or venue than the promise you’re making. I can also throw a helluva party while looking absolutely stunning WITHOUT committing my life to another person – it’s called a birthday party!

With my 10 year reunion coming up in the next few months I’ve heard people moaning about how they don’t feel like attending. Why? They associate success with being married and if they’re not married they cannot possibly be worthy of being in the presence of “happily married” couples.  Oh woe is me and Cry me a river.

My friend, The Brain, and I are planning to go as each other’s dates (even though I have my dear Ginger) and see what stories the grapevine churns out. By this time she would have gotten word about her first book and I’m pretty happy with what I’ve achieved thus far.

I have all the respect in the world for the holy union that is marriage and should I one day decide to get married, it won’t be because I went crow-like over the sparkly diamond ring that got shoved in my face with the blurry question “Will you marry me?”. Ginger and I both come from broken homes and I think, as much as we love each other, we’re trying to do the responsible thing and make sure that it’s the real deal.

I’ve had to change my attitude towards people who ask me the dreaded question because in most cases it is just a conversation starter. The key is to discern between genuine interest and blatant prying. You can usually tell the difference once you’ve answered the question. Here’s a little example:

Conversation Starter

Cammy: So when are you tying the knot?

Catherine: Ah, we’re not looking at that right now – maybe in 2 years or so.

Cammy: OK that’s cool! You’ll make a lovely bride.

Prying

Cammy: So When are you tying the knot?

Catherine: Ah, we’re not looking at that right now – maybe in 2 years or so.

Cammy: Why? What’s holding you back? Don’t you love each other? You’ve been together for so long, why not just do it?

Catherine: walks away (this is what I would do)

My advice: Nobody goes at the same pace. I’m still very immature and not in the right frame of mind or heart to be married. If you’re in the unmarried gang… CELEBRATE! Enjoy life – my aunt is 54 and she’s only getting married next year for the first time. Serial monogamy might just run in my genes… wonder what they’ll say if at 54 I too have yet to be betrothed. At least this way, the question of “So, when are you going to start having babies?” gets cancelled out completely – which brings me to this: People will never stop asking “What next and when?” Don’t let other people influence the “What and When” of YOUR life. YOU write your story.

Hugs and blue berry muffins

xoxo

HPG

 

 

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2 thoughts on ““So when are YOU getting married?”

  1. LOL!, classic! Love this! So damn true. I’m turning 29 this year and have NO intention of getting married yet, however it seems as tho peeps want to throw me a pity party – erm… unmarried is my choice not a sad story!

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