What girl-hood taught me

Guys will never understand how difficult it is to be a girl. Just the other day, I had a tweet convo regarding “mean girls” – no, not the movie, all though, the movie is a good point of reference.

Want to know why women are generally less happy with their bodies and with themselves than their male counterparts? Let’s start here:

GIRLS DON’T LIKE EACH OTHER – It’s a “hard-to-admit-truth” – admitting it is the first step to recovery.

For some reason, we’re genetically programmed to compete with each other. Don’t forget our “built in jealousy switch” that flips automatically when any other woman outshines us, causing outbursts of unexplained accusations that are completely based on … FEELIES (the word for feelings and lies) as demonstrated below

bitchI’m guilty of this too. I harbor a special kind of envy of a certain lady, who will not be named. Her only crime is that she’s an amazing woman, who looks absolutely stunning in a swimsuit, (even after the birth of her 2 kids) who can sing, play guitar, gets featured in fashion blogs (she literally gets stopped on her way to work and gets featured in high traffic fashion blogs) and lives in a country that I would kill to live in. The fact that she’s SO bloody nice is just the virtuous cherry on top of the perfectly frosted cake.

WE PUT EACH OTHER DOWN TO MAKE OURSELVES FEEL BETTER – we all do it… it’s human nature

OK, maybe not human nature, but the most basic human instinct is to survive. And in order for us to survive defeat in whatever battle we’ve lost, we need to feel better about ourselves. Generally, the quickest way to do this, is to lash back at the person who “defeated” you, which means that the metaphorical claws come out. This isn’t our fault. There’s this thing I like to call “Pageant-momming”. You know? Those moms of pageant kids? Every mom is their child’s biggest cheerleader and when you felt bad about losing a race, for instance, your mom would say something like “Well, at least you’re not as ugly as she is” and POOF! You feel better.

untruthsWE COMPETE EVEN HARDER and cause damage to ourselves

This is where it becomes really bad. Who said the war is over? Now that you’ve assessed your opponent’s strengths, it’s GO TIME. I can personally vouch for the severity of this. I became anorexic while competing my little heart out. So, while you’re doing everything in your power to out-do your opponent, they’re just as insecure about themselves as you are. (But you’re too busy focusing on revenge to realize)

SO WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE TITLE OF THIS POST?

Well, since I was 14 years old, I have been on the receiving end and on the attack in this age-old war called “Girl-hood”. I asked a question at the beginning of this post – “Want to know why women are generally less happy with their bodies and with themselves than their male counterparts?” The answer is this: The media might be partially to blame for the widely accepted, emaciated body standard for females, but in my opinion, we’ve done it to ourselves.

screwMy company has just moved into new offices (a little further East than I am comfortable with) and the ladies from those necks of the woods are usually very well groomed and very well dressed. I was dusty, dirty, sweaty and downright ugly – carrying boxes from my car – when I spotted a gaggle of girls from the corner of my eye. It was pretty evident by their pompous giggles that they had just shared a joke at my expense. Admittedly, I wanted to run for the hills with my tail between my legs, when I realized that my muscles are positively bulging as I lifted a box full of client files. Pruh-ty sure they don’t have muscles THAT size. 😀 I smiled at them and passed them as elegantly as I could.

snap

I’ve learned this: If I want to call myself a feminist, then I should encourage my sisters to be the best that they can be instead of stomping on their self-worth. Every woman has her own insecurities and their own coping mechanisms and I’ve learned that if I’m the butt of one of their jokes, it’s probably their way of “coping”. I wish I’d known this when I was an insecure teenager with major identity issues. I might have been happier. But it’s never too late to start being happy.

BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF

The sooner you realize that there will always be another woman who earns more than you, or with a better looking boyfriend/fiance/husband/partner than you, or with a better job/house or car than you, the sooner you can LET GO of trying to compete. By no means am I suggesting that you “settle” for anything less than what you are worth, but stop trying to be the best at everything. First place is a very lonely place.

Rather nurture the good relationships and situations you have in your life and try this thing called “self-love”. You’re worth it! happy

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