Special mentions, life and a few dark but light things

Disclaimer: Content is of a personal nature and contain some religious views and is kind of long…

Last night, I swear, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I was out with a couple of girls, one of which got really drunk and the rest of us had to wangle a way to get her home safely. Meanwhile, I wasn’t the soberest person either (I do not condone drunk driving at all… wait for it… I’m getting to the point), but there I was, driving her car while her head bopped more out of control than a bobble-head doll. obama - -bobbleheadWe dropped her off, fetched my car and I drove back home. Later that night I woke up – heart racing and I realised how blessed I was to be sleeping in my bed and not in a jail cell… or worse… a hospital bed. With this thought, the last year and a couple of months (the best, the worst, the most stressful, scariest and funnest times) of my life, culminated with an undeniable reassurance from a higher power that “You are exactly where you’re supposed to be”. quote (2)I thought about the people I met in the last year and those I’ve known for longer and if it hadn’t been for people like Heather, Lisa-Jade, Minki (my friend), Elizabeth (my friend) or the quotes often posted by Laura Jane from Whimsey is Forever and Charlene (which always seemed to come at just the right time… thanks ladies) I don’t know where I would have been. 5julyA friend in need…

In the darkest times I could turn to these people and know that they would have the solution to my problem or at worst, some words of encouragement. I’ve ripped myself to pieces for making one of the worst decisions of my life, but I constantly rehearse the lines in an email that Minki once sent me “It’s about climbing on this new ladder that you’ve set up for yourself. The only thing that’ll bring you to the top is time and hard work, not necessarily the choices you make along the way”. And when I’m really convinced something really bad is going to happen to me…

“Look forward, because if you feel you’re at rock bottom there is nowhere else to go but up”.

The last part stuck with me. It stuck, because I know this to be true. Somewhere along the way we lose our drive – it happens to us all. We become content with where we are – and then we aimlessly wander along going about our day to day like zombies. I remembered the Leana I was when I finished school – I was full of vigor, excitement and zeal to learn (but I’ll admit to being very scared too). If you feel like you can take on the world, you will and you will conquer it too!

It’s not a quick fix

Even as I’m writing this, I can hear a little voice setting in and telling me how I’m going to fail, what a bad person I am and that I should just give up. It’s a constant battlefield, which is why I reassure myself by listening to Joel Osteen’s sermons on YouTube. I listen to them over and over until the words really sink in. godI can’t believe that we’re alone and that we live and we die – end of story. People need religion or an anti-religion for that matter. Don’t we all just want to be happy, live meaningful lives and be good people?

Whatever it is that you need – life coaching/religion/motivational talks/psychology – find it and use it daily because you need to constantly be reassured that you’re going to be OK.

I touched on a few points here – vary vaguely too. I did this because I want people to easily relate and apply to their own situation. I hope this is the beginning of a happier US!

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4 thoughts on “Special mentions, life and a few dark but light things

  1. I still love you. I respect your decisions in life and though I do not take kindly to those who drink, it is after all their preference in life. You have been so kind and really amazing friend to me, that it is nice to know there are good people in this strange world.

    Just promise me that you will be safe and not lose that full of life factor.

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