Monday Motivation – how to get over put-downs

This is not a new series. Sometimes I feel like certain weeks need some extra motivation in order for us to make it great. I feel like this might be one of them.

All of us have had the metaphorical “thumb” squishing us down and when this happens, many a time, our “defeat” comes with an audience to witness our downfall. It comes in many shapes and intensities too: The nit-wit social media user who completely misinterprets your words – putting you in a bad light; a sibling, family member or even a friend that tries to out-do you, making you look very “black-sheep-like”; the co-worker/client that fights your judgement, making you doubt yourself and your abilities – the list goes on and on. squished

The ugly sister

I use the “thumb” in the paragraph above because it is key to what I want to try to explain. Here’s what I’m getting at – the thumb is part of the hand (family or group) and the hand (family or group) is made up of 5 fingers:

  1. The pinkie finger – she’s small and skinny and pretty. The rings LOVE her.
  2. The ring finger – she’s pretty, usually wears a ring, she’s fit and looks great with some nail art too.
  3. The middle finger – she’s tall, pretty and a model and she has no issue flipping people off if she’s not impressed with them.
  4. The index finger – she’s the pretty, really intelligent and looks good with rings too.
  5. The thumb – she doesn’t fit in with the other fingers. Do you ever say “the thumb finger”? No… you just say “the thumb”. She’s fat and even though she is essential to do the work, she has “ugly girl syndrome” and she cries herself to sleep. The ONLY kick she gets is squishing others down.

Next time you’re in a “squished down situation” think of the person doing this as the ugly sister thumb. The Ugly sisterWhen something bad happens, you have 3 choices:

  1. you can either let it define you
  2. let it destroy you
  3. or you can let it strengthen you

Shake it off

Over the last couple of weeks I felt compelled to listen to Joel Osteen’s sermons on You Tube and suddenly, months of psychologist visits seemed like a massive waste of money and time. Now, I’m not turning this into a religious thing (hear me out). Every time I listen to his sermons, I’m able to make sense of my situation and I feel at ease knowing what my plan of action is. What I find MOST amazing is that whatever I need in his sermons… it really touches me.

I had a restless weekend, obsessing over things that people have done and said to me that cut bone deep into me. I chose to let it manifest itself in me making me thinkMaybe if I dress a little more serious, people will take me more serious” or “Maybe I should work harder so that I can out-do others” or “I should really study all the legislation in South Africa because I’m not good enough… who needs to sleep, right?“… the over all sense was… seppukuOne of the sermons I listened to in order to “get over it”, Joel spoke of “not changing who you are and being true to your “God-given destiny” (which I still don’t know what it is). What stuck was “people are going to put you down, it’s inevitable. You’re going to want to change to gain their favour or fit into their mould, but you’re going to be unhappy if you do this”. I thought about it and then I thought about the “Maybe I need to change” thoughts and I cringed at the thought of wearing a pantsuit and high heels every day.

Something else that stuck (which was so something that your Gran would say) was this: “when someone puts you down you need to shake it off, because the only person who’s thinking about it afterwards, is YOU”.

This is what I mean

Have you heard the new Taylor Swift song – Shake it off? By the time I listened to the sermon about shaking it off, I could sing Taylor’s song  “Shake it off, Shake it off” and dance to it too.

I don’t like Taylor… I think she’s a diva. But guess what… she’s skinny and even though she can’t dance… she is gorgeous, rich and hella talented. What am I being if I’m criticizing her? An ugly thumb sister…. and she’s just shaking it off.

This week, I challenge you to think of this song and start singing to yourself and dancing (if you want) whenever someone puts you down or makes you feel less valuable. You are all amazing people …


9 thoughts on “Monday Motivation – how to get over put-downs

  1. Excellent post, I think I really needed that when I had a bad boss. I am so glad I am out of that job! Hope that your plan of action comes right.

  2. Pingback: Mind your manners… please and thank you | Hipstyler, Pretty & Ginger

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